Another installment of how the world of the celebrity life, where everything miniscule is pumped up to larger-than-life, every detail is defined by the ridiculous penchant of journalists, and armchair stalkers come to life through word and laughter. It’s funny that I point this out as I’m adding to the problem; I think my approach is a bit more sardonic and harmless. I outrightly state that I think the world is nuts and I think the celebrity aspect of it is downright bonkers sprinkled with a little sadness. That being said, who can we look down upon this week and who out of the entire baby Jesus gems we grasp at can give us a smile and a glimmer of hope that all celebrities don’t automatically become doughboys the moment they make their first few thousand dollars.
Puddle of Mudd’s tousled-haired frontman is having a bad go of things. First he filed for divorce to his wife, model Jessica Nichole Scantlin, then he was cited for more than 60 grand in back taxes a few short months ago, and now the crooner has been nabbed for felony drug possession. Living the sex, drugs, and rock and roll lifestyle a little too much are we, Mr. Scantlin? Reportedly it was some powder and pills and swept under the rug quickly. He can’t pay taxes but he sure can drop $10,000 to get out of jail as quickly as possible.
Anyone else not jump on the Cee Lo wave? He has a fine voice, sort of a new wave Al Green, but his beats and songs and most everything I have heard from him stem from that one song… You know the one I’m talking about… To prep for the big moment he landed inside a strip club threw around 10 Gs and asked for “the baddest bitch in the club” (so says TMZ). Living the life! Today we are to bear witness to his super powers, twisting up Madonna’s performance and having everyone’s favorite Kanye-esque interrupter Nicki Minaj. Now, I’m not one to listen to the radio much; I have better things to do with my time than to listen to the same 10 songs day in and day out… but if you throw on basically any music station that is not country, Ms. Minaj is going to be on every four minutes, round the clock. If it’s not her song, it’s someone else… I swear on some of them they only put three words from her, but with her distinguishable, annoying voice you know right away who it is. Perceived as the next Lil Kim, though she’ll openly bash the original queen on a track called “Stupid Hoe,” I seriously find this chick annoying, and overrated. Yay, superbowl halftime? It’s always a spectacle and ever since the Justin Timberlake/Janet Jackson itty bitty nipple mishap, everyone’s on the edge of their seat waiting for something more to happen. Here is to hoping!
Flavor Flav’s daughter was arrested for an altercation that happened at the rapper’s house. Somehow in the tussle she also assaulted him, but it’s believed that it was when he was trying to break up the fight.
I want to have a column plainly called “Now What the Fuck is Courtney Love up to?” I think there is just enough vulgarity in the title to get across all that is about to unleash inside the words written underneath. This lady has been through it all and still she makes headlines weekly. How do you gain that much clout, errr crazy? The press has once again dug through old court papers and made headlines with her being a pet assassinator through hoarding and not hiding her stash. Every piece is slathered with her holding an adorable yet different pup and smiling manically. Testimony stated that Courtney’s hoarding caused the death of two family pets. Their cat died after getting himself caught up in Etsy fabrics, paperwork, and mountains of trash. While their dog ODed on Love’s prescription pills. Even more outlandish, a judge granted a restraining order on the conditions that Love is to stay away from (who was at the time 19) daughter Frances Bean, paternal grandmother Wendy O’Connor, and Aunt Kimberly Cobain. But the most ridiculous of them all, she was also banned from interacting with Frances Bean’s dog Uncle Fester.
Music that makes me want to kill? Hands down: country music. Surely the sappy dramatic twang is not enough to cause real-life violent rage? To the dismay of William Oller Jr., shot by his father Mr. Oller Sr., while performing a karaoke version of a Kenny Chesney’s song, he thought wrong. Though Oller Sr. has been slated to have suffered a few strokes and was not acting in his right mind at the time of the attack, his son now has five gunshot graze wounds and one bullet wound in his shoulder where he still does not have full mobility. He was interviewed and upbeat while his father is in jail facing charges. He stated that his dad taught him to sing and would never harm him otherwise. I’ve always warned people about country music!
Country is not always so bad. It has an upside. Brad Paisley helped out a romantic fool of a fan, Jason Davis, who pursued Paisley’s agent and anyone that even remotely said they knew the singer to get the chance to have him propose to his girlfriend Vanessa Pritt in front of the whole arena. Not only did he find a person who personally knew Brad, Brad himself taped the proposal and said “Congratulations to you, sir. Condolences to you, ma’am. I tip my hat to Brad for being just that awesome, and to Jason for being that romantic; it’s hard to find such a thing outside of the movie screen in 2012!
These are just a smidgen of the interesting, crazy, and unbelievable tales of the music moguls’ tall tales and tragic mischance. Know of any that we should talk about for next week’s piece? Please send us your links, articles, and photos to email@example.com or talk about it on our face book page (https://www.facebook.com/shutter16magazine).